Why life coaching can be positively contagious for the family and beyond!
The Dalai Lama said:
“Although attempting to bring about world peace through the internal transformation of individuals is difficult, it is the only way.”
Wonder what that has to do with coaching and the family – then do read on ...
Superwomen – how does that work?
There are more and more women today working hard to establish their own businesses whilst also running a home, children, partner relationship, friendships, and sometimes looking after their own parents as well.
What is often the reality?
They find themselves struggling to fit in the much needed development work to get a successful business off the ground, often working late into the night as it is the only time available. They feel they are neglecting their partners and their children – whose interest and tolerance is fast waning. Social lives are non-existent. Their health is suffering and as for “me time” – “I thought you were a coach not a comedian!”
How does coaching help make a positive change?
Then they come to coaching and life changes. No, really it does because for the first time in a long time, or maybe even ever since they were an adult, they are concentrating on themselves. The coach helps them to see that so doing is not remotely selfish, how having a less stressed mummy will actually benefit everyone.
And this is where the wonder comes in. After just one or two sessions things can begin to change quite dramatically.
Can physical changes really occur during coaching?
One of the things I as the coach initially found most surprising was the physical changes.
- Minor health niggles particularly aches and pains reported as improved
- Improved posture and voice sounding more controlled/more confident
- Consciously or otherwise dressing more confidently and often colourfully
- Facially looking more relaxed and yes younger!
Why do such changes occur?
Once people accept that taking care of their own well-being and happiness first is the best way forward, it is a rapid upward trend. They are getting dedicated time for themselves in the coaching session; moments of clarity are evolving, along with plans and actions for a brighter and easier way of being. They are learning to accept themselves and those around them for who they are – not who they think they ought to be. They naturally then start to take additional care of themselves by, for example, finding time for the yoga class, trip to the hairdressers or gym.
Is it my imagination or are other people changing too?
The next positive side effect is that people report that others around them are starting to behave differently. Again it makes sense – if the pivotal person in the household is more relaxed and happy so too will be the others whose lives they share – children and adults alike spark off our stress, so too they will respond to our calm.
Can we see a real life example of this?
Amanda J Samain is a self-employed hair and make-up artist specialising in brides and running her successful business from home on the south coast. She has three children seven and under. She tells how the coaching experience has impacted on her life.
Amanda – What were your reasons for attending Life coaching in the first place?
Since having my third child a year ago I was finding it increasingly hard juggling running my business, being a mummy and also a wife. I felt like I wasn’t succeeding in any of them and neglecting my family and not moving on with my business either.
How did you feel after the first few sessions?
After just the first session I came away feeling motivated and energised. I had something to focus on, targets to meet and a means of getting them too.
How has coaching affected your attitude towards yourself?
I am a new person. I am not just ‘mummy’ but Amanda. I had begun to feel like I wasn’t taken seriously at what I did, as I had small children and worked from home, I would feel like others thought what I did was a hobby and I must be incapable of running a business as well as being a fulltime mum.
I have realised that I don’t have to be perfect at everything and as hard as it has been I now accept that. I am not ‘Super Woman’ and neither is anyone else. I am trying to accept offers of help, rather than trying to be a martyr and do everything myself. I had started to feel like I had to do everything myself and it was wearing me down.
What have you learned through coaching that has improved your well-being?
I make time for myself now, I will get my hair done and not feel guilty, I will buy myself something nice to wear and not think about how many nappies I could buy for that or how many rides the children could go on at the funfair. I am a happier, more fulfilled person and generally more balanced.
I try to book off two Sundays a month for ‘family days’ where all of us will have time together whether it be a big day out or just a PJ day indoors eating comfort food and watching movies, but we are ‘together’.
My husband and I are having more time together and I will book nights out in my diary and we will have a meal, watch a film etc. If I don’t do this then the time will get booked with something else or I will land up working.
What affect has your coaching had on the rest of the family?
Generally my life is more balanced and I am a happier and more content person, therefore giving a massive positive effect on my family.
I get my children involved in my work if possible. My son recently came to a Wedding Show with me and helped me set up my stand, displayed all my jewellery and had a great time. My daughter loves licking the envelopes on all my correspondence so this is now her job as well as posting them! Simple things but they love it and it helps me!
I am taking a more relaxed approach to life and now realise that I can’t be perfect at everything ... no-one can! I am still working on this but can see the benefits already as I will now sit down and play with the children and if the washing up isn’t done straight away or the floor is not swept ... who cares?! My children will only ever be children once and I do my job to fit around my children not the other way round. Now when my baby naps in the day, my son is at school and daughter at nursery, instead of thinking I have an hour to get all my jobs done, I now sit down with a cup of tea (that I actually finish hot!) and watch a bit of daytime TV!!
By having the life coaching sessions I am managing to run my business, be a mummy and be a wife. Life is good.
If you are wondering how to make changes in your life and re-address the balance, perhaps life coaching can help you.
About the author
Eileen Wheeler (MAC, Grad IPD) is a self employed life coach. She has more than 30 years of business experience working with blue-chip corporate clients to develop their business and staff. Eileen is a full member of the Association for Coaching and a Graduate of the IPD (now CIPD). She works one to one with clients and also runs coaching workshops.
Contact Eileen on 07941 760 889 or eileen.choices@googlemail.com
Article copyright YourDoc Medical Ltd 2010. All rights reserved.
